Homey Home, yo, Holmes

If you’ve ever dreamed of being a truly dominant man, but never knew how to let your rage off the leash without the fear of landing in the slammer. Your dream of strutting your manly stuff may not be as far away as you might have thought.

We’ve been working the last six months to put together one of the most exciting, aggressive and socially fulfilling hand-to-hand combat leagues. If we’re able to get this fighting league off the ground, which looks all but certain at this point, you’ll have exactly the sort of physical vent you need to make the rest of your life make sense once again.

For a low, single rate, with no unexpected up-sell rates, you can experience a solid ten minutes in the ring with exactly the sort of woman who will make every last insecurity of yours evaporate in a quick, savage, face-pounding round of bloody satisfaction.

Don’t think bad about it, this is a mutually agreeable, sanctioned environment. The women who participate by permitting you to beat them brutally into the mat accept this fate because it’s the quickest, easiest way for them to earn income towards their college tuition, and all of them sign up knowing full well what they’re in for.

Pain, gain, loss, benefit; it can all be the same for you. If you’re ready to learn how beating the face of a woman to a bloody mess with nearly bare hands can fix your life forever, please read about our pricing plans, reservations, schedule and Frequently Asked Questions.

And if you have any questions you can’t find answers to, please use our contact page to find out how beating another human being in the face can make your life a better place to live in.